Friday, July 9, 2010

Farewell to Dad and Grandpa Kimura

I just realized that I never posted on Dad's death. Dad died Sunday June 20th at his home. Akihiro had just flown in the evening before. Dad was able to smile at him and raised his hand when we prayed with him. I am so grateful for the two weeks I was able to spend with Dad--helping with his care, sharing laughs and smiles, tears, memories, and just trying to support him as he walked "in the valley of the shadow" as he told many people. There are so many things I want to remember about those two weeks--one being Dad's thankful heart. Nothing that we did for him was too small to elicit a "thank you" and a smile. He talked about his "magical drawers" that my nieces kept full of clean clothes for him. He appreciated the food he was served, though he could only eat a few bites. He thanked us for our care of him despite our mistakes--brushing his teeth with my brother's tooth brush, letting his recliner topple over backwards when he was trying to do his back exercises, etc. etc. His sense of humor seemed to be enhanced and his smile was extra special. He was a joy to care for--and instead of feeling sorry for himself that he needed care, he chose to enjoy it--elevated toilet seats and all! It was special to see our family bond together in our effort to care for dad--everybody had a special and necessary role. I think he liked seeing us work together. He taught me a lot in his living, but also in his dying--to be truly open to whatever God has--healing in heaven or in eternity--and to have the faith to believe that God can do either one. I'm not sure if they were his last words, but the night before he passed away, I was fairly proud of the fact that we got him all clean and new sheets on his bed and all tucked in. He was pretty lethargic, but he told my brother Jim something about a " her" (perhaps me) and that you don't always have to be perfect. Those are words I needed to remember as I came home and continued life as mom (especially to a jetlagged almost 9 month old) and wife.

We just got news this am that Akihiro's grandpa died early this morning. He had been declining over the last months and was on the waiting list for the inpatient hospice unit near his home. He was admitted there last week. We went to see him yesterday and he was very lethargic, yet restless. He calmed after we sat with him a bit. He smiled at Tomo-kun and patted him--seemed to enjoy seeing him. He had lost so much weight and didn't have his teeth in, but it was good to see him. He soon fell asleep and in a few hours when Akihiro's siblings and uncle came, he was able to respond very little. (BTW, it was interesting to see an inpatient hospice unit--everything from urinals to ways to give sips of water, to chairs to help patients sit up in bed, etc.) Likewise we are thankful for the many good memories we have of Grandpa and will miss him.



2 comments:

  1. Carrie, I think of you often and send up a prayer. Actually my heart aches when I think that you have no Mom and Dad. I guess because I know how that feels and even at the age of 51 it can still be very hard. I hope you will still visit us often and keep us updated with your family through your blog. We LOVE pictures too!!! Love, Marcia

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  2. Greetings to Ito Family.
    Maybe You remember me or maybe you don't.
    I am DuĊĦan - one of the brothers (who learned Japanese language) You and Akihiro met in Church in Kovacica during Your visit to Serbia some years ago.

    I remembered after some (long) time to visit Your blog, and first I have to say: I'm so sorry for Your (and Akihiro's) loss of a parent. It is very hard at first, but I believe God will give You both the strength to live on.

    You also got an unbelievably cute child:), a true blessing. Congratulations!! The son will be also ''help'' You to continue, and give You much joy.

    I have a really big wish of visiting Japan and Tokyo some day. Seeing the country, nature and its customs. (I try to learn a little bit of Japanese everyday-it is so beautiful language)
    So if I come I'd like to visit Your family too. (Of course if You let me:))))

    But until then,
    we send many warm greetings from Vojnov family and Church in Crepaja, (Tsrepaya for easy english reading:) - To You, Ito-sensei, Tomo-kun and Tokyo Church.

    Dusan

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